


Risks

by MayLovelies



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Angst, Friendship, Garak is lowkey afraid of being loved and kind'a touch starved, Hurt/Comfort, It's like a continuation, M/M, Romance, Suspense, takes place after events of 'The Wire'
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-26
Updated: 2018-04-26
Packaged: 2019-04-28 07:53:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14444757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MayLovelies/pseuds/MayLovelies
Summary: Bashir visits Garak to discuss the past few days before his implant was removed. In turn Garak struggles with the fact that someone genuinely loves him. (takes place after 'The Wire')





	Risks

By the way had Garak acted, it was evident that he wasn’t used to anyone caring for him, not like this.

 

It was one thing for Bashir to throw the “patient-doctor” excuse in his face over, and over again. Yet that time had passed and he could see how Garak recoiled. How the tailor looked his way in discomfort after he’d entered his quarters unannounced.

 

The expression of genuine curiosity yet anguish was only brief, as he erected his facade once again to face Bashir.

 

“Doctor, I wasn’t expecting you tonight! Is there something I can do for you?” His smile stretched ear to ear, as he leaned against his table.

 

“I didn’t mean to come without informing you. I hope you aren’t busy.” Bashir returned the smile, taking a seat in one of the empty chairs around his friend’s quarters. “I simply came by to check on you.”

 

“Well, I’m fine!” Garak replied enthusiastically. “You’ve done so much for me--far too much. I wouldn’t want to distract you from your other patients, I--”

 

“Garak, I don’t have any other patient’s at the moment. Just you. I’m just here to check on you. You clearly haven’t been resting like I instructed.”

 

There was a mixture of unreadable emotions on Garak’s face, as he made way to the empty seat across from Bashir’s. “The purpose of your visit was _just_ to make sure I was asleep?”

 

Bashir opened his mouth, closed it and opened it again.

 

Before he spoke however, he thought. He pondered carefully on his next words, attempting to find a way to formulate a sentence without making Garak anymore distressed than he already was. Bashir hadn’t forgotten how his Cardassian friend tensed at the mere idea of help, or drew back at the softest touch. He had learned a lot of things about Garak these past few days yet more importantly, he had learned that Garak was a stranger to touches, and care...even to help. He was afraid of these things.

 

He was afraid to be cared for and _that,_ was Bashir’s current dilema. To confess that he had begun to care for, and even _love_ someone who possibly feared that very emotion.

 

“Not exactly.” Replied Bashir in an honest tone. “I also came to speak about...or _inquire_ about some things you’ve said. I’d like to know how our relation--friendship could be affected in the near future.”

 

Garak’s eyes widened. “If my actions from before have offended you in any way, I apologize! I would have hoped that we made up--the last thing I’d want is to jeopardize our friendship. Again, I _deeply_ apologize.”

 

“No it’s not that. I understand, I’m not angry.”

 

“Then what is it?”

 

“Things you said.” Bashir took a chance to look into Garak’s pale blue eyes, glancing away just as quickly as he did. “Not about the Obsidian Order...but about how you felt. About hating the base...about it being 'torture'.”

 

“Well, some of that was simply an exaggeration.” The lie was veiled, yet Bashir could still sense it. The truth still punctured his heart like a dagger. “The implant--”

 

Bashir cleared his throat, gaining the Cardassians attention. “You can hide _many_ things from me, Garak. But what you said...I heard the pain in your voice, I saw it in your eyes. And well...I wanted...I wanted to help you, more than I already had.”

 

Garak sighed and let out a chuckle before he went on. “Doctor, there are some things your medicine and skills cannot help. You have done far too much for me--far more than I deserved in fact. You have my gratitude, I cannot ask you to waste anymore time on me.”

 

“This isn’t about, _medicine,_ Garak.” Julian inhaled. “We’ve been seeing each other for a _year,_ over a year! Garak, I enjoy your company--sometimes I can care less about the literature...and the food in the Promenade is...less than satisfactory but... I don’t care. As long as I can spend at least an _hour_ with you! And then I crave that hour until the next week comes by, then so on and so on .Garak, I don’t just want to be your friend.”  He paused, waiting for Garak to respond (still evading his gaze), and continued when he did not. “I care about you Garak...and after all we went through, I think I’m starting to fall in love with you.” He then met Garak’s eyes, and held the gaze.

 

It was then, Garak stood, attempting to keep that straight expression. “Are you thirsty doctor? I was just about to get myself something to drink before you entered...let’s see....” He headed to the replicator, attempting to evade the situation or find some way to counter it. The tension polluted the room but that did not stop the doctor.  Unsurprisingly, Bashir stood followed after him.

 

“Garak--please!” Against his better judgement, he took hold of his arm. “I know you don’t like this station--I don’t plan to stay here forever! Come _with_ me when I leave!  You don’t have to stay here for the rest of your life--”

 

“Doctor!” Garak roughly drew away his arm. “Doctor, _everything_ I said that day was a result of me being in pain--”

 

“But it was true, all of it.”

 

The two were facing each other now. Garak had retreated toward the wall near the replicator and Julian stood almost a foot in front of him. He gazed at Garak’s troubled expression and observed how he attempted to hide it behind that every growing facade. But in this moment, when he was faced with something that made him uncomfortable and prodded at the one thing he feared the most, his mask was breaking.

 

“I don’t want you to feel miserable...if you are hurting, _talk_ to me. That’s what I’m here for. Not just as your doctor but your--”

 

“Julian.” The calm yet stern force in which he heard his name,  pulled him out of his own trance, as he looked into Garak’s now pained eyes. “You don’t want to go this way. Not with me. You still hardly, _anything_ about me.”

 

“That’s true, but that doesn't mean I don’t care for you.” The doctor responded hopelessly. “That’s the funny thing about love , Garak. It just happens--whether we know someone that well or not. I’ve had lunch with you for almost ever a year and these past few days...it was impossible for me not...”

 

“Doctor, please. I’m trying to help you--so let me help you. Don’t pursue this with me.”

 

Julian didn’t respond right away. He only took a step next to Garak, extending his arm. Garak attempted to counter  by taking a step back but he was stopped by the wall. The doctor’s hand eventually rested on his cheek, causing him to pause momentarily to reflect on the warmth of a human touch. Before Garak himself noticed it, he was leaning into his companion's hand. Realizing that he did not withdraw like before, Bashir seized this chance. He took an abrupt step forward, closing the small space between he and Garak. Within the seconds, their lips were connected and Garak was pressed against the wall. Bashir continued with his intimate touches, as his hands slowly drifted from the Cardassians face to the rest of his body, momentarily resting on his hips. As confidence radiated through him, one hand graviated lower toward Garak’s lower region and then...it was over as soon as it began.

 

Garak was not rough, nor angry. He gently pushed the doctor away, regaining the small space he had made for himself before, retaining the comfort he yearned for.

 

“No, doctor.” He replied subtly. He wore a heartbroken gaze, yet preserved that smile. “You don’t want to go this way. Not with me.” He repeated.

 

The doctor’s mouth hung agape until his combadge sounded.

 

“Dr. Bashir to the infirmary.” The assistant called.

 

“Goodbye doctor.” Garak responded, taking the chance to gain distance from Bashir (and the wall).  

 

“Goodbye, Garak.” Bashir responded. “I’ll see you at lunch tomorrow. For now, listen to me and rest. And I won’t...I’m not letting this go.”

  
“You’d be taking an unimaginable risk.”

 

“And?” Bashir shrugged. “You act as if I haven’t taken risks before. This may be the first risk I’m actually excited to take!”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed! If so please comment. I just really loved this episode and had to make a continuation.


End file.
